Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend Bring a teabag and screw in your pocket. Bet I can touch your belly button… from the inside. I'd treat you like a snow storm. A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I park my car in your garage? Watch the video below for tips on how to be more confident when approaching women.
Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis. What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Q: How is a woman like a condom? Cause I'm gonna spread them tonight Do you like Sea World, because your about to be in my splash zone Do you have a boyfriend? Boy: Spell Me Girl: M E Boy: You forgot the D Girl: There is no D in me. Was your dad a baker? I'm bigger and better than the Titanic. I was feeling off today, but you definitely turned me on. My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties.
Mind if I take a look? Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover bend over. Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield? What do you call a blonde grabbing at air? Lets play circus, first sit on my face i'll guess ur weight and i'll eat the difference Do you like chocolate, cause your gonna choke alot on this dick Are you constipated? You should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand. This Dick a rental car company. Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? Is that a keg in your pants? Cause you are sofacking fine. Are you my Co-Pilot, cause I'ma take you to the cockpit. .
If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw? If not can I have yours? Because you sure know how to raise a cock. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 5. A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it. Hey baby, you like Glazed or creme filled? Because you just gave me the definition of Beautiful. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? You're melting all the ice I must be the Sun and you must be Earth, cause the closer we get, the hotter you become. And the ones on your face. I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo? Did you sit in a pile of sugar? I'm no rooster, but watch what this cock-a-do-to-you Do you have pet insurance? Looking at a girls ass Where does this bus go anyway? My dick's been feeling a little dead lately.
Is your name country crock, cause you can spread for me anytime. So, here I think I'm scoring big, right? Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party? They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs. Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other. If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down? I like my women, like I like my ice cream, fat free and dripping down my fingers Girl, your eyes are bluer than Heisenberg's crystal! What is the new O. Because you just gave me a footlong. A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.
Cause yoganna love this dick I like being able to breathe but I wouldn't mind having that ass-thma Hey girl do you wanna dance cos you make my testicals do the macarena Liquor is not the only hard thing around here. My lines will get you laid and help you find women who are open to having sex on the first night. I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I'm kinda hoping you're a slut! Boy: S weet L ittle U nforgetable T hing. You can strip, and I'll poke you. Because you just gave me a raise.
Because I heard you Relay want this dick. I have a big headache. Hey baby, lets turn off our firewalls and connect our Ethernet cable. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Do you want to rent one? One of the Great Things About Using Dirty Pick Up Lines A real cool thing about using dirty pick up lines is that they help you find the types of women who are open to having sex on the first night. Hey, have you met my friend Dick? How much does your clothes cost? Erotic is using a feather.
. Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? You need something to shut that big mouth of yours! I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my dick disappear Your so hot I'd jack your dad off just to see where you came from. Are you my bank account after the direct deposit hits? Did you just come out of the oven? A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their decisions. Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist? Roses are red, violets are blue, we're having sex, cause I'm stronger than you I hope you have a sewing machine, cause im gonna tear dat ass up Are you an architect? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D. Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Liquor is not the only hard thing around here. And they're so rich, they're so goddam rich, you think they must know about everything. I like my coffee how I like my woman… creamed. Want to see my hard drive? Many women say that they can tell if they like a guy by the way he kisses, so most women will use it as an opportunity to have a bit more of a kiss. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back.
Cause when I ride you'll always finish first. . Cause you have a great ass! Are you a girl scout because you tie my heart in knots. Have you ever bought a vibrator? Do you know Phillis Brown? To help you out, try these 14 pickup lines. Because I know some good karma-sutra positions. Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Are you related to Dracula? Fine, I'll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.