Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Or maybe you have a few smart jokes of your own? Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana — mafia. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Of all the losers, you came in first! Do not walk beside me either. That's why our new email newsletter will deliver a mobile-friendly snapshot of inews. What we need is idiot control.
The way nationalities have different takes on the same thing. I sit and look at it for hours. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! The problem is no one runs in your family. There was only one dog in it. It still contains some pretty bad jokes, but if you feel we missed any hurtful, offensive, or otherwise objectionable content, please reach out to me alejandro thenextweb. The human brain is a wonderful thing. Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36,000 people voted.
My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months. What a sad state of affairs. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. I could talk about classic card games all day. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. In that case, give me a Kyle! Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
We remove comments encouraging or promoting self injury, which includes suicide, cutting and eating disorders. At any rate, even if you never use them one liners make for good fun. Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother. We may also remove posts identifying victims of self injury if the post attacks or makes fun of them. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. What has ears but cannot hear? Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Usually a statement or an observation, the joke often involves some sort of word play or irony. My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. You do not need a parachute to skydive. Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? You get it from your kids.
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Report as violent, gory and harmful content? What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Smokers are just like everybody else. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. To steal from many is research. Patient: I think I want a second opinion. The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
I'd have had nothing to play with. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch. A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye. A friend is someone who will help you move. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? I found out she was seeing someone on the side. A guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.
I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
. Why do bees have sticky hair? To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger. Jesus loves you, it's everybody else that thinks you're an ass. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you. I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite. Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. That's what I bought the buggers for! But some of us are short.