After the bad behavior, addicts may feel shame and follow up with apologies and promises that everything will get better. However, if your depression gets worse, bouts of sadness are lengthy or you have thoughts of suicide, get in touch with your doctor or therapist immediately. I've gone to some really small meetings-literally only 4 people there! People with addictions can make this worse by and to you. It wasn't until I started working a program of recovery for me by reading and posting here, learning about addiction and codependency and going to Naranon and working that program that I started making major positive changes in my life. Her son Keven has been struggling with his heroin addiction for over 3 years. Him and I are extremely good together, I could honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with this man.
He sort of admitted to being wrong, said he really needed the money at the time since he was laid off a few months ago. Although not considered professional counseling, going to support groups like , , and Codependents of Sexual Addiction , alone or with your spouse, can be very helpful. So if he beat you, stole from you, slept with your sister - you would still love him? You sound very level headed, even if you aren't sure at this point what to do. What do you see long term? Is it a control thing? He told me he's used the past 2 days a little bit just enough to wean himself off of it so he doesn't get sick. To prevent this tragedy from occurring, here are fourteen rules you must never break when someone you care about is addicted to drugs like alcohol, crack or powder cocaine, marijuana, methamphetamine, or opiates like heroin or OxyContin. It's been a total of 4 yrs journey. I am not like that, ever, but it was because he was in love with his addiction, not me.
For we addicts- that sick controlling behavior doesn't go away immediately. I also question whether in fact he has one day sober - a couple things don't ring true. You can't do anything if they do't want help. Because those are real possibilities when you are in a relationship with a crack addict. The messed up thing is I am his biggest fan and I have stuck by his side through everything and when he has had enough he just up and leaves me a few days ago instead of holding my hand and trying to help me understand this whole addiction nonsense.
These effects are often felt most by family members and loved ones. You should attend a NarAnon meeting. Tell him how you feel when he talks about you drinking. They'll shred your love, use it against you, whatever they have to do to get high. He is so good he fakes tremors at the dr office and around family.
The only way to guard against relapse is to actively work through recovery every day. And me because I have a family to protect from having people come in and out of their lives and I don't want to get hurt again either I'm divorced. It is not meant to be a substitute for professional care. Stay strong and know that total strangers love you, and those who don't. I have stuck with him through a relapse in November 2 days , a relapse on April 14th, April 30th, and then these past 2 or so weeks of daily struggle.
The new wave of support - blogging communities What has helped me the most is a blogging community of other parents. Learning how to recognize any behaviors that may be enabling your spouse is essential. Treatment Options for Addiction If your boyfriend does admit he has a problem with drug or alcohol abuse and is willing to consider getting help, the next step is to explore his addiction treatment options. I am going to try Al-Anon again tmrw night, and I'm looking forward to it. Also, like everyone else said, he's very unlikely to have hit bottom in 3 months of occasional use. Although these are not necessarily deal-breakers, you need to know that their problems can become your problems.
Mental health professionals use a variety of methods to help people overcome addictions. Many of my friends have learned to cope with addiction in their families as a result of Al-Anon. I'm sure not, but if your boyfriend is not doing anything to help himself, then that is the life you have facing you in the future. My boyfriend of 7 year did not come home last night. Look for trustworthy sites such as government or university information.
I know that isn't the right approach I should be taking. Such systems can be critical to success in achieving and continuing a sober lifestyle. This is what leads to love or sex addiction, and you do not want to be the object of affection for someone who may simply be bouncing from one kind of compulsive behavior into another. Not something an active addict can do. As far as i know in the beggining of the year he started using crack, he did for 2 months, and according to him it wasn't everyday. I'm starting to try to claw things back together now. Stay in today and work on yourself.
It feels like an unwanted adventure into the unknown, a journey on a dark and dangerous road that intersects with emotions such as fear, anger, worry and guilt. They may have accrued debts, a record or legal problems, or irrevocably damaged key relationships in their lives that make your interactions with their family and tenuous. You need to stay out of his recovery, and get into your own 'program' so to speak of. You will set your self up for a lifetime of pain and suffering. I know withdrawal is a real thing, so I'm sure that is necessary so he doesn't get sick and need to use.