People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things. I know how difficult this really is. This attitude can be liberating. Examine your assumptions about relationships. More than feelings of fear, jealousy also leads to a smorgasbord of other emotions such as anger, hate of love 'rivals', disgust sometimes self-disgust , and hopelessness. The fear that your partner will wake up one day and realize there is someone better out there can lead to suspicion on your part.
Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone you work with is; and going out of your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won't make either of you feel better in the long run. I could not figure out which book that you wrote that would be good for this subject. Develop an internal dialogue you start to run whenever you are feeling jealous. Perhaps talk to a counsellor for more professional insight on how to overcome these negative emotions. Everyone has jealousy, some can just handle it better than others. Maybe it seems low to some people, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I really understand you perfectly as I and my partner was once there.
We're told it's great to have 'a good imagination', but he was using his to torment himself. Or you may have been betrayed in a recent relationship, and you now think that your current relationship will be a replay of this. Which is harder to live with after they're gone? It's not something that can be fixed quickly but best of luck. Right now, I can imagine an alien invasion headed right towards Earth. I can't say why or how, but my jealousy has gone from an 11 on a scale of 1-10 down to a 9. I suggest you speak to a therapist and do some group therapy to get whatever it is that is bothering you out.
For the most part, it often stems from your own insecurities. Below is an outline from the Leahy and Tirch 2008 article on the nature of jealousy. I am not saying this is the case with you as you have not indicated to me that your guy is playing stupid head games just to get you jealous, but there are emotionally immature people who do this knowing too well how someone with insecurities will react. Your partner thinks that you are betraying her. Constant questioning by you can even be as destructive as having an affair in the long run.
How likely is that really? This time too, it has nothing to do with your partner. And by all means, have more than one friend. You can use more effective behavior. Communication is everything in a relationship; lack of communication would lead to a lot of bad factors, jealousy notwithstanding. It's basically ammo for her to use against you during arguments and such.
Its what the media has taught them, what their biology dictates and is reinfoced by their friends. If you suspect your partner is trying to make you jealous, then short circuit this by relaxing about it; but how? Jealousy is one of the things that can cause major rifts in a relationship. Jealousy is big relationship issue that can quickly ruin your relationship. The one thing I wish my boyfriend would've done was not put the blame on me for his jealousy. Is it possible you also don't trust him? I was against going to a therapists, I thought they were a joke. If this is from a prior bad experience perhaps get therapy to sort that out. Trust is essential in a committed relationship.
My girlfriend is the type of girl who falls in love easily and that is what makes me so confused. It is normal that jealousy can arise in your relationship and can become a relationship killer. The problem with this is that jealousy is never attractive. Right now I'm doing ok, but its an everyday battle. In some respects, this is true for all of us. Or you may have problematic beliefs about how to feel more secure. If being in a serious, monogamous relationship doesn't give you a sense of peace, it may not be for you right now, or ever - or if could be that your partner is not the right person for you! He says that because of my jealousy it is hard for him to be relaxed and intimate.
Indeed, if you were involved with someone who claimed she loved you but really wouldn't have any jealous feelings if you had sex with someone else---I think that you would either doubt she loved you or wonder if she were having an affair. We've got a few tips to help. Start getting uneasy feelings in my tummy. Gives Birth To Excessive Possessiveness Obsession, by all means, leads to possessiveness. Jealousy is first and foremost about and it's tough for us to talk about it - it means admitting that we believe we are inadequate. The only cure for this thing is looking to yourself for the answers.