Things you will want to be sure not to do include the following: Scold Yes, it is of course appropriate and even necessary at times to communicate clearly to people what God says is true about their conduct, even or especially when what they are doing is sinful and destructive Ezekiel 3:17-21. . Time seems to stand still for just a moment as you look into each others eyes, both wondering what your reactions will be. Whatever you do, you must be honest. Without trying to prove that you are right, you can try to help your roommate understand why you are uncomfortable, why other issues make you uncomfortable, etc. Make excuses Because you are a Christian and your roommate is gay is no excuse for your sins.
You can volunteer your own thoughts too, being careful not to insist that the other person agree with you. What you can do So what can you do to respond as a Christian to your roommate in these circumstances? Or perhaps you may feel a desire to talk to your roommate. Often people will get very resentful towards God for not relieving their tensions the way they want when they want. Make anyone different Think about your own sin. I used to think it was her 13 year old mindset, but now im wondering if she even likes guys. If you are a Christian, these conflicts are also opportunities to extend the grace of the gospel. Show your roommate what confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness, and restitution look like.
She doesn't want a man and she is mad when I have one because then I am not alone with her anymore, I am prioritized with my man. Perhaps you feel nervous around her and you want to feel more comfortable? Its her personal choice but she even is uncomfortable with tampons. We finally found other roommates, and she chose to room with a homely, scientific type of girl. Obviously, as with all people, your roommate may rejoice in sin or despair under conviction, and you may not find it appropriate to rejoice or sorrow with them in all instances. Show compassion Showing compassion may be the hardest part of dealing with your roommate. There is an understandable impulse to change conflict and tension into peace and order.
Indeed, if you think you can sin openly with impunity is to communicate that hypocrisy is okay, but same-sex attraction is not. Can you imagine the disappointment you might feel to learn someone close to you objected to something that in your mind was foundational to who you are as a person? Address the desire in your heart to gossip. Spite In avoiding a fight, you may be tempted to take little jabs here and there at your roommate, moving from holding a grudge to spiteful, indirect conflict to effectively mistreating a person because he or she has told you they are gay. Fighting only gives your roommate good reason to dismiss everything else you might say or do Proverbs 15:1-4; 20:3. You can go a long way towards relieving tension and living out the gospel just by deliberately including your roommate in all kinds of things in your life.
One way not to feel like your options are taken away is to know what those options are. Include in your life If you are uncomfortable with your roommate, without realizing it you may be withdrawing yourself from that person in such a way that he or she may feel excluded. I don't know if she is stupid, rude, or she doesn't like seeing me with men. Grudge You may be tempted to quietly smolder in resentment, thinking your roommate has mistreated you by putting you in this situation. Did she say or do something specific? If you are really not sure what God thinks about same-sex attraction, or if you are not sure you really care all that much what God thinks, it is important to be honest about your doubts. Is it in your own power alone to change your whole heart and life to be what it should be? Foxie Do you want her to have a crush on you? To help you process the information, perhaps you can identify one trustworthy person whose insight you think might be helpful to you and who will keep the information confidential.
While this may not be your intention, what you communicate to someone when you are reacting unconsciously out of personal interest is that such people are to be avoided. If you are not sure what to do or say, you can ask God for wisdom and know he will give it to you Nehemiah 2:4, James 1:5. She has never had a boyfriend. To put the truth up for grabs only makes things more confusing Proverbs 24:10-12. Or, she may be fluid.
Maybe he or she will catch on. Fight Especially if the person telling you he or she is gay appears hostile, defiant, or overly assertive, you may be tempted to fight fire with fire by being similarly hostile, defiant, or assertive. God is wiser and more patient than we are, and he knows best how to work in your circumstances. Here's to learning, growing, and expanding your world! First, a quick primer on sexuality and sexual orientation: popular culture tends to show people as either straight or gay; however many sexuality experts actually believe that humans fall on a continuum of sexual orientations. In any case, you might try looking at the situation as an opportunity to learn about someone different from you. It may also be helpful to talk to your resident assistant if you live in a residence hall , a health promotion specialist, or a counselor in order to plan what you might say in a discussion.
Someone may or may not care a great deal about what you say about them or to whom you say it. And warding off evil to the best of their abilities? Often the relative importance or particular place that same-sex attraction holds in your own world view may not be immediately apparent, and the more you talk about it, the more likely it will appear to others that it is a colossally big deal in comparison with other issues in your mind. I just figured it was her lack of experience. Was there something lying around the room that triggered this though for you? You feel a little uneasy, maybe a lot. We are 21 years old. This is a kind of pressure Christians feel all the time, but homosexuality is such an emotional issue it can heighten the tension. She totally sabotaged one relationship I was in and then I went out with one guy and she acted like he was our buddy, but he was my date.
Better you should have a conflict over something important than about who left a dish out on the counter or who left the window open when it rained 1 Corinthians 13:5. Like you, this person is a sinner, prone to doing the wrong thing and to taking things the wrong way. Hi amkxoxo, It's really hard to say if your roommate is a lesbian or if she is just very shy and uncomfortable around guys. Like me and other girls have talked about sex and she looks uncomfortable in the conversation. On the one hand, you may not feel a lot of compassion, so that being motivated to be compassionate can seem impossible. You may even consider having your room assignment changed. Pray Before you do anything, before you say anything to anybody else, pray.
Her new roommate wasn't a lesbian. She might well be a closet lesbian, but she might just be shy and uncomfortable around guys. You may find yourself wanting to get back at your roommate in little ways, only to find you are reinforcing what he or she may have already taken for granted C Christians hate gays Proverbs 24:28-29. Gossip The disclosure of sensitive and potentially damaging information by one person to another is an occasion for caution, not for chit chat. I appreciate you being honest with me that way. All you can hope for between two sinners is either a honest humility amidst sin in our hearts and conduct, or b superficial conflict avoidance amidst sin in our hearts and conduct. What you think and feel about your roommate matters.